"I Was Lying In Bed Drunk" by Brendan S I was lying in bed drunk with a bag of beer and whiskey in my closet, when the main staff woman (the head administrator) knocked on my door. She darted for the DVD's after saying she had a reason to search my room. I handed over the bag of booze, but she didn't seem to care. I was walking around, angrily, outside smoking a cigarette, when I went back upstairs. I shouted, "I'LL GET A LAWYER ON YOUR ASS!" and then the police were called, because this was considered a threat. (To get a lawyer). The main detective was brought in to the scene, where we walked together and he joked with me and said, "So, what was it..? What were you drinking..?" And he smiled. I said, "Ah, Natty Daddy." "Ah come on you gotta do better than that." "Allright, a little Southern Comfort this morning." He laughed, "Now you're talking..!" And we got in the car, he had me ride passenger. I was taken to the E.R. and interviewed by the crisis team, and appeared to be there for no reason. They gave me a small pill, that I cheeked, and snorted, but didn't know was fentanyl. The nurse even watched as I cheeked it, and spoke cheekily to her, in my muffled voice, as I fake-drank the water. After I snorted it, I felt higher than high -- and it was too much. I sat there, staring at the hospital TV and just started laughing. Soon, a female doctor (the doctor for the next shift) walked in, and I was told, "This is not a hotel, Brendan." "You're right. This is not a hotel." So they gave me the fentanyl, and kicked me out of the E.R. with no coat, and only a T-Shirt in cold post-winter weather. I walked two miles in the cold, asking people for money or for help, because my group home said I was now banned, and had officially been / become temporarily homeless. I found my methhead friends house, and he allowed me to sleep on his floor until the drugs wore off, and I drank a beer or two. I dumped out the last beer after I found out my Dad was finally in Belfast. My mom and dad were in Portsmouth, NH, when this all happened, and had to quickly drive down in one of his trucks. He said I had no choice but to go to detox, and I agreed. * * * * * * * When I got out of detox, I was put on antebuse, which makes you sick if you drink on it. I also swore off pot for a month, and had a pretty low tolerance when I returned to it. I kept drinking, and even drank on the antebuse a few times. I threw up once, and it was terrible. It hurt my stomach so bad, I couldn't even drink a red bull for a week. Like fire in your stomach, that bad. I got off the antebuse, and switched from Klonopin to Valium. I remember my last hit of meth. I paid $150 for a gram, and smoked three rounds with my friends. They were all watching as I took these massive "to the face" rips off the meth-pipe, and I just remember being high for six days. * * * * * * * I heard the song, "Bound for the floor" by Local H while I was high on meth, and it somehow made me feel there was some strange cult conspiracy to "take me down" by the people in the industry, or just in the media in general. I then felt a movement in my back, and I couldn't get out of my bed for an hour. I collapsed twice, and was so lightheaded, it took me about 10 seconds to get back up. When I got back up, I tried weightlifting to retain my strength when I got back home, but then I threw my back out, and was restricted to the bed for at least two weeks, without pain medicine, or any medical support. I kept on lifting weights, and did my best to avoid hard drugs, and alcohol. I still drank a few times, but so far, my back has recovered ..... I am not "bound for the floor" -- but somebody hates me. Those methheads don't, though. Most of America seems, too, though. Really hate me. Give me a death chemical, and kick me to the streets. Pray my old Bruce Lee back injury returns. Wish illness upon me. Hurt me and my friends. Curse me by stalking my family, friends, and neighbors. Ruin my name by associating me with assholes. I am fucking angry at this country, but I still got back up. I got back up, and I never fell, and you won't see me fell again. I will stomp you out like the flames to my candles, you will be so burned. I hate you for hurting me. Fuck you all for questioning my strength. I am perfectly strong, and I will fucking electrocute you if you ever do this to me again. - BLS