How People Care:


You are someone who has to go through the hospital system, as a result of your diagnosis but even CNA's and hospital workers oftentimes take medication of their own, and are just as human as the patients they are helping.

To no chagrin, or sense of remorse, I've not done much but talk -- to get what I've gotten out of the honesty of the people in the system I've met ..


No matter how sick you are, the doctor, or the nurse, are all just as susceptible to tears or misery as you.

In fact, when I last went to detox, because I have a feeling it isn't the last time -- because I'm an idiot -- I learned that saying very loudly "YOU ALL ALMOST DIED! YOU"RE IN DETOX! IT"S HILARIOUS!" -- a receptionist stormed out of the office, and left the ward, while the woman I was angry at, who drinks on antebuse, and is a hapless vodka alcoholic, seemed to be laughing in a demonic way, along with her gaggle of oxycontin and tylenol addicts surrounding her. I was pissed. The nurse returned, crying, and said she didn't want to work there anymore, in front of me, and everyone.

I have received "spiked" tea from a certain Scottish woman at Dorothea Dix, who made my TV-watching that day deeply surreal.


She put what felt like rum into my scottish tea, which is also strong tea, and I got more drunk or high that day than any medicine could offer. She was nice.

I've been offered sex by nurses, but I always refuse.

It's too questioning of my morals to sort of think of myself as "enjoying the system" that much -- because it rings of stockholm syndrome to a six degree to think of having sex with the person who is trying to help you ..

A lot of scientists, therapists, and great men have failed this test of the morals, I am aware.

I once observed a distraught CNA, while I was hospitalized in Boston, complain and whine and also seem to cry and moan about the violent aneurysm he had just witnessed in the death of a mental patient. I only remember hearing his story, and seeing him shake, when all I could say, since I was sitting on the bench directly in front of him was "I hope you're okay."

The people in mental hospitals and even jails are all alike - because people in the system are all dealing with the same system, so it doesn't really matter "where you end up" so to speak, if you are a criminal --- or just mental case like me .. ;)

I find that the people in the system are here only trying to help, even if at times we feel at odds with them.

Though, I hate to admit I think the federal government could do better with marijuana, since it's practically the only safe drug to abuse nowadays..

And all of these terrifying drugs are really starting to get on my nerves.*****

I don't know who was re-capping my mountain dew bottles with wine when I was in Acadia.


-- Brendan Lee Sprague