from rape victim confessions
to suicidal dreams
i've heard
from the lips
of the now-jaded
and "you just got made fun of by her..?"
all the names i've been called
all the treasures i don't want to own
all the things you've stole
when i wasn't looking
when you find
i'm clearly out of hope
and i might be dying soon
please, just leave me alone.

from all the whiskey
and rehabs and hospital beds
things stopping my brain
overdoses
and bloody hands
i'm tired of it
so
when you find me
half-dead
or almost
just
leave me alone.

tired
of tripping
but the tv makes fun of me
i can't sleep without being terrorized
the slamming doors
the constant yelling
the atmosphere
i used to love
just tell me
goodbye
and i'll smile
but for now
don't bother me
for a while.

when i die
i want you to let me
just leave me alone
i'm not ready for this life
and i don't think i ever was
so when you find
i'm too terrified
and don't want to be seen
and i'm totally retired
just
leave me alone
leave me alone
leave me alone
and let me die.

Thank you, Paul.


Write my last words
In the Corinthians
For myself to find
And see again.

= BLS =