Needy Mental Patients ----------------------- I loaded up the charge on my psionic blue device, and then put it away with a heavily charged crystal taped to it. Put my pot in my pockets, and changed my shirt twice. I wore black. Then I got in the car, and went home. * * * * * * * The ride home was always quiet. We had awkward conversations. I told my Dad to watch "The Gray Man" and almost got a nerve in his body to move when I talked about Ulysses S. Grant, but I think he still holds disquetude towards me. They're always worse when I get back to the group home .. I protect the server, sometimes only because I need to, but usually the internet runs smooth here all because of me. I also offer cigarettes, and a lot of personal direct / affirmative forms of therapy to people in need of pain, because after I make a song and I'm doing really good, I have nothing better to do but help people with their own things, when my work is done. But they always seem worse, and worse, and worse, whenever I return from my trips home. I enjoy myself so much, when I'm with my parents. Back at my original home, where I love to be. I can play music loud and smoke freely, with no one bothering me. And then these "mental patients" magnetically cling to me, and suck the energy and life out of me, because they treat me like one of the doctors. M__a is always concerned about my cough, but she doesn't know I used to vape and smoke crystal meth. And I still smoke cigarettes and weed excessively. It isn't a medical problem. I just like to stay high. Pardon my coughing. And yes, I've been vaccinated, my cough does not indicate I have a dis-ease, which, she has asthma and smokes a pack a day.*RETARDED. This one guy opens and closes his door to check on the hallway constantly, but he SLAMS it when he shuts it. He's right next door to me. D_____ got his ass kicked by security guards and has brain damage, and even had to have staples put into his brain, and all he does is get in my way, somehow, through synchronicity alone. I want to use the bathroom, fix my hair, take a piss, whatever he's always in the bathroom. I want a cup of coffee or to walk down the stairs without walking past someone, this drone is always right in front of me. He's ridiculous. M__a has literally walked into me twice. I saw D_____n holding a sock up to his ear the other day. And C_____n has a demonic style of laughter, I don't care what anyone says. She's fucking scary. I haven't seen the girl who's been harassing me for about a week. She lives right beside the bathroom, and has things delivered to her, so she doesn't need to care about the world. Shit, man. Sometimes I think, "Go for it .. good." When I think about how Hitler gassed so many mentally ill patients. They truly are directionless, hapless, jokes, and energy vampires, they're the fucking clowns of society. The system is backwards, because it makes a show out of these clowns, when we could be more intimate, and empathetic toward one another. The world doesn't really care about crazy people, and neither do I. I lied when I told the original cop who asked if I am schizophrenic. Several diagnoses have been removed from my chart, and I'm just a paranoid with a personality disorder now. Truth is, I really hate myself, "sometimes" -- but I hate you all much more. Instead of being suicidal, I'd rather stare at the gun for a moment, and turn it on someeone or something else, other than me. I want to stay alive, but it's hard .. really hard to stay inspired when you see the people destroying themselves in your midst. - BLS