I have had some diagnoses throughout my life -- from "bipolar" to "PTSD" -- where, I no longer have either of these diagnoses -- and I am only referred to as (in nice words) by doctors, "Paranoid." I used to suffer from pretty bad PTSD. I lived in a state of shock all day long, frozen with a beer in my hand, standing from one locale of my cold apartment to the other, until I finally collapsed from a back-problem, and actually had an out-of-body experience not "One" person cared to hear about. I saw my own body in the hospital bed, from a ghost-body, and I was all alone in the hospital. I saw myself dead, and no one even cared. My father used to abuse me for using the internet too much. Staying up too late, etc. Verbal, physical, whatever. He's gotten sick, over time. As a matter of factuality, I finally did a little "magnetic lightet trick" and split our brow chakras for a moment with a good bic lighter, and gave him a light shove on the shoulder, and sent him repulsing from me about ten feet using my telekinesis. It was just like that scene from "Chronicle." The truth is, my father has abused me, and taken advantage of me my entire life. The real truth is, I am not really the victim. I can handle his abuse, but I suffer traumas -- from "other peoples traumas." I've seen people in pain my whole life, and I've had to help them while I am also in pain -- only I can deal with my pain, but they can not deal with theirs. I've had to help people up many times, from drug-addicts, to local townie alcoholics who had withdrawel. I would give money to people. Weed, whatever. I always wanted my friends to feel good. In order to remove my PTSD diagnosis, I picked up a gun, so to speak, and fought it directly. I got revenge against every person who ever hurt me, and I no longer have a PTSD diagnosis. Nor do I pace, or feel any fear of death anymore. When I threw my father, I didn't even care I went to the hospital. I've been to jail twice, it's no big deal. The system is already fucked. My diagnosis is an imprisoning diagnosis. So, I was pretty abused the last time I went to the hospital (2020). My father must have told the police "I am schizophrenic." They put me in a chokehold, and I had to use Judo to escape from it. I captured these mean cops on tape, and the video is on youtube. When I was in the hospital, I made a personal vow to make no more personal connections for a long time. I threw away every phone number I was given, and I threw away all of the address and personal information people gave me so I could reach them. I also did in fact throw away all of the lyrics I wrote in the hospital, which were more like 200 pages of words. When I got back out of the hospital, I "picked up my guns" again, so to speak, and I kept on fighting. My father has had surgery twice, he just broke his ribs, he suffers from heart problems, and he has rage issues. He also smokes cigarettes. The real victim of this mean bastard is my mother, who is an extremely devout, and sort of lovely woman. He is mean to both of us, and I had to leave my home -- my entire neighborhood, because of how abusive he is. The truth is, I was abused by him. I did not abuse my family. I am a victim of my own family. As special, or as great as I may be, I am still a tortured victim of the system. My "food stamps" cards -- three times in a row, were rejected by the state of Maine. People used to make fun of me at the dispensary and Wal-Mart and call me "Bruce Lee" in some weird racist pride. I've been treated like shit basically my whole life, but the traumas I have are yours. It is your pain that makes me sick. And sad. It is the things you all go through, that make me feel so terrible. How some of you have clearly no direction in life, and you continue to destroy yourselves, while I might be a perfect soul -- only corrupted by your sick world. I've seen nice friends commit suicide. Kind girls die in car crashes. Witnessed the very death of my own grandmother while holding her hand. I've seen "actual" snuff scenes from films hidden in Hollywood. I've watched people get abused, and tortured, and mistreated my whole life. And none of it is my fault. BLS