The Zeta's To Brendan: Drug Use Incepted by Brendan S First, you will try cigarettes. A friendly box of Camels, and think "it's cool." Toss away the other half of the cigarette, and stomp on it, and then play tag with the rest of your friends at the "docks" of Bar Harbor, where you first tried drugs. In the loading zones of your home town. Then, you will try klonopin and valium at the age of sixteen. You are insecure. Skinny, dressed in black. An outcast to society. So the drugs make you feel less insecure. Especially around girls, and social situations. Even -- at one time, you were "hugging numerous people" while high on valium at a school dance. This occurred many times. The .. "hugging" thing. Later, your drug use advanced to the point of physically "moshing" with neo-nazi's at punk rock shows at The Kave in Bangor, ME. The Mainepunx were down with you, and you even started a punk rock band of your own at some point, with two other individuals. You never played a show, and the band broke up early on. Then, you tried a hit of weed at Michelle's house -- and it was like nothing. "That didn't do much." As usual, you don't get high the first time. Then, suffering from work from your father, you asked your friend for a bag of green -- and he gifted you with 3 grams of some very bright green, very flueorescent weed. It was heady, and you made it last two weeks.. You would pray. That's right, you would pray. "For the stars to be out tonight." For an entire year of your life, at the age of nineteen, and twenty, you sat out on a rock in your front yard, and stared up at the stars while burning a joint. Sometimes drunk. Sometimes a "salvia joint" (salvia mixed with weed). You even remember once staring at the AMERICAN FLAG, on your parents door-step, and spitting salvia-weed smoke at it, praying for a better nation .. And then you laughed. In college, you tried mushrooms. You went to the bathroom, out of an uprupt need to "shit." And you sat on the toilet, after seeing "female silhouettes" on the wall. The floor pulsated, and you saw an ocean in the floor. You suddenly flashed upon the thought, "All drugs are good. We all do drugs. We all want to feel happy. We're all the same. Because we all just want to be happy." You walked out of the bathroom, with a new look on your face. * * * * * * * * Later, you tried other drugs. But not much. For the most part: you smoked weed, and drank beer (typically malt liquor) for as long as you could. For five, to seven years this behavior went on unchecked. Your doctor didn't even seem to care, "Brendan always had a fun-loving nature about him, Nothing he does really bothers him." .. You got into meth, later on. The effect of crystal methampetamine "ridded you" of your bad empathy. It killed your sociopathy. IT made you the tough, mean, son-of-a-bitch you are today. And you now smoke opium, specifically to help you with digestion. In the end, it has been deduced: that you have done "drugs" to evolve yourself, and keep yourself alive. You suffered traumas when you were young, and the drugs are / and were your main support for rejuvenation. Also, your newfound "med change" to the k-pins (klonopin) you are taking, is a step-up from your usual drug use. You are stronger now. In fact, all of the drug-use has made you stronger. More evolved. And more elite. You are like Hunter S. Thompsan and William S. Burroughs -- and Edgar Allan Poe, in one. And never ..... Never forget that night. When you drank so much whiskey, and drank so much, that the opium you had smoked had given you what you call "The Laudanum effect." This early eighteenhundreds drug, whiskey mixed with opium, was your drug of choice once, and that night you took the bath -- reading Levi, you knew you were pure. You knew you were doing the right thing. - The Zeta Reticulum